Unexpected Visitors
by Jojenga
Summary: I reached for the alarm clock, and i felt something rather...sharp...i looked up, and i saw...a kunai...a flippin KUNAI!
1. A Sharp Conversation

Unexpected, Unprecedented, and Unexplainable Visitors

By: Man this fanfic name is way too long, Jojenga

(A/N: everyone has done one of these, so I'mma joining the bandwagon :3)

If anything, this morning couldn't have began more oddly…at the moment, Hidan and Kakuzu are interrogating me about crap that I 'don't know', and to top it all off, its usually only fan girls that this kind of thing happens to! I mean, I've read fan fictions about this sort of thing, but that's it!.

And this morning? Well, it went something like this…

The alarm came on at 6:00 AM as usual. Full volume, full effect. As soon as the alarm went off, the effect was like having thirty fire trucks with their sirens on parked right outside your bedroom window. I reached over to press the button to turn it off, but instead, I touch something much…sharper. I retracted my hand quickly in pain. "Ow…what the…?" I asked myself. I looked over towards the alarm clock, and saw something that almost shocked me out of my grogginess.

A kunai…a flippin' KUNAI…

I turned around to see who held it, and it was none other than Itachi Uchiha…it just HAD to be the guy who I thought was a badass. "Explain," he said in his monotone voice. "where are we?" I panicked for a few seconds, and flipped. "Wh…Who the hell are you guys?" The calm and cool Itachi remained unchanged. "That is none of your concern. Now answer the question." I gulped down the rise of air that was pushing its way through my throat and replied. "D-dude, I dunno! I just woke up and I see a bunch of thieves in my house!" Then, someone shouted rather loudly. "What?! How could you accuse us of being common fucking thieves?!" I looked at him and identified him as Hidan. Good god, my favorite Akatsuki member is talki- wait a sec…no time for fanboyism. "Well, you are threatening me with a knife and I don't know you people…" If fan fictions were actually right, then I wouldn't be able to keep this charade for long.

"He's right Hidan." Itachi said, surprisingly agreeing with me.. "A normal civilian under this same situation would think in such a way…now as I was saying, answer the question. Last chance." I gulped, then quickly thought of something. "Dead men tell no tales…you've heard that before, right?" Itachi simply scoffed and replied. "There are many others who could answer us. You were simply the resident of the first house we saw. Its not like we would need specifically you." I gulped once again, and replied. "Ok, fine…show me proof that you're the Akatsuki, and I'll tell you what you want to know." I just wanted to see something awesome in action…and sure enough…

"Ok, here, is this good enou-AHH DAMMIT-..enough proof for you?"

Hidan had just stabbed himself…in the heart…and he was still standing. It was then that I fainted from shock and amazement.

Hours later, I awoke, tied to a chair. "Oh how cliché is this…"

"Cliché, yet effective." I turned my head to see my 4th favorite member of the Akatsuki. Kakuzu. "Now, talk…where are we, did you summon us here, how do we get out, and furthermore," He reached behind him and pulled out a book…my latest issue of Shonen Jump, which just so had Naruto on the cover. I began to sweat, and said. "Look, you wouldn't believe me if I told you…"

"Try me." He replied.

This would be a long night.

* * *

I know, short chapter...i'm sick right now, and i just got a huge urge to write one of these since there are barely any out there without some crappy romance or drama out there...but this story will be deep...and hilarious

R&R everybody! This is Jojenga, signin out!


	2. Interrogations and Laughter

"Okay," Kakuzu began. "Where are we?"

"We're in America." Kakuzu got a confused look on his face, then moved on. "Did you bring us here, and do you know how to get us back to where we were?"

"No, and no." I replied, giving off a glare towards Kakuzu. He snarled at me, then asked his next question, which would take a LONG time to explain. "Explain the book."

I breathed in and began the explanation. "See, you're…not supposed to be real in this world. Back there I lied. Tremendously. In truth, I already know you…I know everything about all of you. Hell, half of the people on this planet know everything about you!" Kakuzu then lobbed the book at me, which bruised my arm, and he shouted. "Oh really now? Then tell us about ourselves…" I smirked and said. "Gladly."

"Itachi Uchiha is damn near emotionless," I then pointed to Kakuzu. "you're a money whore," Hidan laughed at that statement. "you, Hidan, are a religious nut, who gains immortality or loses it depending on if you kill people or not, Sasori, well…he's dead, Deidara uses fire-styled techniques to cause explosions in his clay, which he molds with his mouths, I don't know much about Pein or Konan, probably because I've never really paid any attention to them, Kisame…well, he's a fish, nuff said," Both Hidan and Kakuzu laughed at this. "soo…yeah, that's everyone I can name off th- Tobi is an overly hyperactive retard who is a living miracle for still being alive for so long."

At that, Hidan and Kakuzu just exploded with laughter. I hoped that Madara wasn't vengeful, but that didn't matter now. "That…is too fucking true!" Hidan shouted with laughter as he nearly fell out of his chair. I was surprised to see the Akatsuki of all people laughing at something I say and not mocking it. Kakuzu stopped laughing and said. "Enough…he knows too much." Once again, I gulped in fear, and tried to talk my way out of this one. "Uh…what if I told you all how you would be defeated, so that you could be ready?" They snapped out of their serious state, and was covered by a shroud of surprise (1)

"But…that info is damn-near useless here…in our dimension." Hidan snapped out of his stupor and asked. Wait…so if what you're saying is true…then, do I actually die?" I laughed and replied. "No, they just cut your head off and buried your body…I dunno where Kakuzu was when it happened." At that moment, I could see a twinge of anger directed towards Kakuzu. "Uh…also, while trying to take the Kyuubi himself, Pein gets nearly raped by Naruto going 8-tailed, and that's about all I can tell you, because that's all I remember." And that all I would try to remember. I wouldn't want to give away the juicy tidbit about Naruto's father just yet.

"Look, that's all I know, so can you let me go?" I asked, shaking around in the ropes. In a flash, Kakuzu had cut the rope open with a kunai. I got up and stretched, and walked in the living room and began to talk to the four that were here. Which were Hidan, Kakuzu, Itachi, and Deidara…god, why'd it have to be all my favorites? "Okay…through some odd turn of events, you've all ended up at my house…" Please let this work… "However, just because you are mass murderers does NOT mean I'm going to let you do what you want. You may have me outnumbered, but this is my world…and I'm the only one who'll believe you four are real."

"Why would we take orders from a snot-nosed bratty kid?" Kakuzu asked. "Simple." I said, as I reached into my pocket to grab a can of mace. "See this?" I held it up to Kakuzu, and he looked at it. "Yeah, so what?" I had my finger on the nozzle, and turned my head towards Itachi. "No worries, this'll only hurt a lot…for as short amount of time." And then, I sprayed. For Kakuzu, time seemed to move in slow motion. He could've dodged the spray, but he didn't. He thought that he could take something as weak as a little spray.

Oh how wrong he was.

The second that the spray collided with his eyes, he screamed louder then Sakura. He then grabbed a rag from my table and began scrubbing at his eyes. "What the hell was that you bastard?!" I put the can of mace back in the closet, and replied. "That, Kakuzu, was mace. It is used to stun an opponent long enough for you to subdue them…or kill, in your case. I did that to give you an example of our weapons." it was then that I looked around for something, and found the TV remote. I placed a DVD in the DVD player, and sure enough, the opening for Future Weapons came on. "Watch this…you'll get an example of what this world is capable of…oh, and are you guys hungry? Because I can only cook rice and ramen(2).

"Yeah, some of both would hit the spot right now." Said Hidan, who was already watching the part about a heated laser rifle. I fired up the stove, and let it heat up with the water. _Oh man, I'm cooking for 4 dangerous criminals… I thought to myself…_

I then remembered, that my friend was coming over today…

Shit.

* * *

Okay...explanations

1. Its all i could think of saying...i was blocked for ideas

2. Its true...thats all i know how to make :3

remember to leave suggestions to improve my writing style! :D


	3. Arrivals and More Characters?

As soon as the rice was fixed up, I put the rice into 4 bowls, and served it to them. I then had to say something to all of them. "Um…my friend is coming over in a little while." they looked at me, then turned their heads back to the TV. "Uh…she's a real fanatic of you guys." Once again, no response. "Look, if she sees any of you, she'll be even more of an annoyance than Tobi, who she adores." At that, everyone except for Itachi went wide-eyed and looked for a hiding place. "Ahem…did I mention that she's a rabid Itachi fan-girl?" He scoffed and simply said. "I see no reason that she would be a threat."

"Alright, fine…but when she's trying to molest you, don't come to me." I said calmly. Itachi shrugged and took a bite of a spoonful of rice.

"Gotta hide…" Deidara said to himself as he searched the house for a hiding place. He found a cupboard that was empty. Just big enough for him to fit in. "Jackpot."

Hidan searched the house for a hiding place that would accommodate his size. He looked upstairs for a spot, when he found an empty abandoned room. "Heh, perfect."

Kakuzu searched the lower levels of the house, and found a nice cozy spot near the incinerator. "Found it."

"Hmm…" pondered Itachi as he kept watching the program. "A weapon that uses some sort of fire style jutsu to heat up objects…"

I looked around to make sure that everyone was well hidden, looked over to the couch, and sighed. "Itachi, seriously. I can't let Talon see you. You have to hide, now." Itachi looked at me with intensity, and asked. "You really think that you have any authority to tell me what to do?" I gulped, and began to sweat, and then, my fears worsened.

The doorbell rang

"Oh for god's sake, Itachi, get off the couch!" I whisper-yelled at him. He finally conceived and got off of the couch and disappeared in a puff of smoke. I let out a sigh of relief and opened the door. "Hi Talon." I said, relieved. "Heya Steve." she replied. She walked in, and laid her book bag down on the couch, and sat down on said couch. "So…how was your day?" she asked, trying to make small talk. "Crazy, unbelievable, the usual."

I noticed that Talon was shivering, so I asked. "Cold out there?" She responded by nodding. I, being the gentlemen that I am, turned up the heat as much as I could.

Big mistake.

"Huh? What the…" Kakuzu said as he noticed the incinerator getting hotter. Soon enough, his strings caught fire, and he was running around like a chicken with his head cut off, and ran up the stairs to the kitchen, screaming that he was on fire. Overhearing this, Deidara, opened the cupboard in shock, only to have gravity take effect and pull him towards the ground, on top of Kakuzu.

Hearing the loud crashes and bangs, Hidan came down the stairs demanding to know what all the noise was, until all three Akatsuki members looked at the doorway of the kitchen. I was standing in the doorway, and so was Talon. "Uh…" I had to think something up fast. "I'm being robbed by cosplayers?!" Talon just patted me on the back and said. "Nice try Steve…you think you're the only one with characters in your house?" I went wide-eyed, as did the others, and said. "Wait…what?!"

"Yup…though you're lucky to of gotten the Akatsuki!" She said, while staring at the heap of Akatsuki members. "Hey, what gives?" asked Deidara. "I thought that you said that she'd be more annoying than Tobi when she saw us." I then started sweating when Talon looked at me and asked. "…You said what now?" while crossing her arms. I did an anime sweatdrop and asked. "You said that you had characters at your house as well?"

Talon nodded and spoke. "To be exact, Hinata, Hanabi, Kiba, and Chouji for some reason." I smirked and thought to myself, "Oh god, what are they going to do to her house…"

"Um…K…Kiba-san…Talon-chan said…not to eat her food" Hinata mustered up. Kiba replied. "Hey, as long as we don't eat too much, she won't notice, right?"

"Oh…well, did they say how they got here?" She nodded, and said that they all said that a strange light appeared and sucked them in. "Hey, un…that's how we got here!" Deidara said, after splashing Kakuzu with water. "Hmm…peculiar…" I got in my thinking pose, when I realized that Talon was still here. "Well, no time to think about it now. We have a guest."

We spent the rest of the day talking, until Talon had to leave…but when she opened the door to go…

"Well…if it isn't my would-of-been vessel, Itachi…"

* * *

Cliffhangah!

Remember to read and review!...

wow...30 hits in one night...o.O


	4. The Sound Ninjas of Music

Orochimaru…

"What the hell is your scaly ass doing here?" Hidan snapped at him. "Oh, don't be so crude. I'm just wondering where 'here' happens to be." It was at that moment that Talon ran to the bathroom to puke…she had hated Orochimaru since the day she first saw him, and coming face to face with him would be enough to make anyone's stomach turn.

"Why, I am doing nothing wrong, Hidan. Why ever would you be angry at me?" Hidan began growling, but Orochimaru put his hands up. "Don't get me wrong…I'm not here to fight…but my apprentice, on the other hand, is a different story." at that moment, he walked in…

Sasuke walked in, the hatred clear in his eyes, with his hand on his sword sheathe. I gulped and said. "Look, if you two are gonna fight, can you do it outsi-" I couldn't finish, for the sword was against my throat. "Little brother…how much of a criminal you've become…threatening innocent bystanders…" Sasuke growled with rage and shouted at his brother. "Don't talk to me about being a criminal, you bastard…what about all the innocent Uchihas you claimed?"

"Look at yourself little brother…you're threatening a 14 year old boy who has nothing to do with your being here…you're blinded by hatred Sasuke…I said to let your hatred flow through you, not swirl uncontrollably." Sasuke, now enraged by what he assumed to be cockiness, charged at his brother. Itachi simply said… "Ameratsu." and summoned black fire to blast Sasuke to the back of the room, and leave him barely alive. "Grr…Itachi, how dare you harm my vessel? Grrr…" He then grabbed Sasuke, and left using that sink-through-the-floor move(1).

As soon as it was over, Itachi sat back down on the couch and lied down, covering his eyes with a pillow. I sighed a sigh of relief and went over to the carpeted floor to lie down and relax. "Itachi," I began. "are you okay?"

"Eyes hurt…must rest…" I laid a blanket over Itachi, and put his rice on the table next to him. "I'll be upstairs…" then, I had an idea…_"Lets introduce them to this world's music…" _

_As soon as I got up there, I figured that I would have a tough time figuring out what to play loudly…then it hit me. "Mystic Prophecy(2)…"_

"Man…Itachi must not of been in the mood to deal with his broth-" and as if a Jet engine came roaring over the house, lyrics played very heavily. "Wake up death, you come like a storm in the niiight! The nightmares of demons…Welcome death!! And show me the final attack!!! The nightmares of demons are back!" Hidan recoiled in surprise, and fell over. "Whoa, what the fuck?" As I played the music, I ran downstairs and shouted. "This is what some music is like in our world! It's called power metal!" Surprisingly, he shouted back. "Turn that shit up!" I laughed so hard that I almost fell down the stairs, regained my posture, and shouted back. "Sorry, that's as loud as it can get!"

"Ahem?" We then turned to see Itachi poking his head out from the covers. "Oh right…you're resting…maybe another time." I promptly went upstairs and turned the music down.

Talon was just leaving the bathroom, when she saw Itachi in covers, a flaming scorch-mark in the wall, and Hidan head-banging to what is the rest of the song. She blinked twice, then asked. "Uh…what happened?!"

* * *

okay, i know...VERY short chapter...but, i did what i could...besides, this is as good as a place to leave off as ever

1. Couldn't remember the name D:

2. Great band...the song is Nightmares of Demons, and yes, the song will come up later in the story ;)

Once again, sorry for the short chapter...just kinda anxious to get this up...and i've got a block again! D:


	5. Romance, Blackmail, and Seductive Poses!

Hidan came back, and replied. "Short version, Sasuke showed up." "Ah." Talon replied while giving a nod of understanding. Deidara then grabbed a towel and said. "I feel filthy…I'm going to the wash-area…"

As soon as I returned downstairs, the doorbell rang again. Hidan looked for his scythe, then I put my hand up to halt him. "No worries…I was having a small party today, and this is another friend…I hope." I took a deep breath, and opened the door. "Steve! How're ya doin?" A young 12-year old girl with a purple t-shirt said. "Hi Sayame…not much really, just the Akatsuki is eating me out of house and home." I then pointed to the refrigerator, which Hidan was currently digging through to find food. "Hey, you said there was ramen! Where the fuck is it?" Sayame went wide eyed as I shouted. "Its on the stove, I never put it in the fridge!" She grabbed my shoulders, and shook me around, saying. "The Akatsuki is in your house!!!" Then…something happened…

Romance…

"Hey, what's all the noise, un?" Deidara said as he walked out of the bathroom with the towel wrapped around his waist, and Sayame just stared and fainted. Deidara looked very confused, then I snapped him out of it by saying. "Umm…you're dripping wet, wearing noting but a bath-towel, and she's a huge fan of you…and I mean huge." Deidara smirked and started to formulate a plan, when something hit him. "Hey…my cloak is still filthy…what am I gonna wear?" He asked. I looked around for some old shirt of mine, when I caught on to his little plan while seeing him staring at the unconscious Sayame. "Well, there is this." I then gave him a form-fitting tank-top that as black, and blue at the sides. "Okay, thanks." I also gave him a pair of matching shorts, and he went to the bathroom to change.

"Mmmnnn…huh?" Sayame said as she slowly opened her eyes. She was lying down on the couch opposite to Itachi. She looked over and saw Itachi lying on the couch. "So…I wasn't dreaming?" she said to herself. She then blushed as she realized that she really saw a half-naked Deidara.

"Good fucking Jashin, this is delicious!" Hidan shouted as he slurped up the ramen at the table. "I added hot spice to it…is it really that good?" I asked, unaware that my spice was as good as it was just given credit for. "Hell yeah its good!" I looked over to the couch to see that Sayame was already awake, so I grabbed another bowl and walked over to her. "Morning, little miss fan girl." I said with a smirk. She took the bowl of soup and slurped it up, waking up instantly. "Oh wow." She said, instantly forgetting about me calling her a fan girl. "This is…marvelous!" I smirked slightly and pumped a fist in the air. "Haha! My spiced ramen is a success!"

"Hmm…" Deidara thought to himself as he looked in the mirror. He knew that these clothes weren't ordinary. They were too…comfortable. They felt rather silky, then he realized that smirk that I had when giving him the clothes. "Oh Steve, you clever dog, you…" He said with a smirk. He then tried many seductive poses in the mirror, when something happened.

"Deidara, what the fuck?!" Hidan shouted when he barged into the bathroom. His jaw was wide open while he was pointing at Deidara, then, he exploded with laughter. "Get out, un!" Deidara shouted as he pushed Hidan out the door and locked it. "Oh, you're gonna have to do some serious sucking up to keep this a secret, Deidara!" Hidan said from behind the door. Deidara sweat dropped and replied hesitantly. "Like what kind, un?"

"Hidan, I was busy looking for money in this dump…what is it?" Kakuzu said, irritated. Hidan said, with a grin. "Well Deidara? What'd you wanna tell Kakuzu?" Deidara looked more irritated than Kakuzu, then reluctantly said it. "I'm an egotistical bastard, un…" Kakuzu stared at him for a few seconds, then replied. "Deidara, we all know that…now stop bothering me." at that, Hidan just cracked up, and was on the floor laughing heartily. Deidara then heard his name being called, and left.

"Yeah?" Deidara answered as he came down the stairs. I was holding a butcher knife and was cutting up a turkey that was in the refrigerator that had been re-heated. He then took the butcher knife out of my hands and placed it on the table. "No. We're not having re-cooked turkey…I'll cook." I thought about it, and replied. "But, we don't have any ingredients…unless…" I looked over to Sayame, who was playing Naruto: Ultimate Ninja 2. "Sayame, I'm going to the store for food." She hummed something that sounded like an 'okay' back at me, and I smirked as I waited for her to take a drink of her coca-cola to say this.

"Oh, and I'm taking the truck." She did a spit-take, and asked rather harshly. "What truck?!" I replied as I held up a pair of keys. "Your neighbor's truck, who else owns a truck in this neighborhood?"

* * *

  
YAY, A COMEDY CHAPTER!!!

And interactive too!...

Review on what you'd like to have Deidara make...if i like the idea, not only will i use the idea and give you credit, but i'll also use your recepie in one of my LPs on youtube!

(look up JojengaLPer...i play video games, and give commentary whilst doing so)

till next chapter everyone! :D


	6. Rice Casarole, and Hidan the Driver!

"But…you don't know how to drive!" I smirked as I said. "Doesn't matter…there are barely any cops in this neighborhood, and I won't be the one driving…Hidan will." Hidan then walked over to me and said. "Uh..I don't know the first thing about 'driving'" he said, pronouncing the word 'driving' oddly. "That, Hidan, is why I have this instructional home video on how to drive! I was gonna watch it myself, but oh well." Hidan shrugged and followed me as I popped the DVD into the slot. "How hard could it be?" He thought to himself.

Now, Hidan, though somewhat crude, even though he goes into battle without thought, is a very methodical man, and remembered everything there is about the video, and was very intrigued about the video. Mainly because the only force you'd have to exert to travel at high speed is just pushing your foot down and moving your arms…like swimming!

"Alright, we're heading out. We'll be back in about…one hour. Any ingredients I should pick up?" I asked Deidara. He simply replied. "Just cream of mushroom and rice, un." I looked at him, wondering what he was planning to make, when Hidan nudged me. "Lets fucking go! I can't wait to show those fuckers out on the road how a real man drives!" I chuckled slightly and said. "Okay, we're going! Sayame, Talon, make sure no one else sees the Akatsuki while I'm gone." Sayame went back to playing video games and nodded, and Talon said. "Got it." from over by the couch that Itachi was sleeping in.

As soon as me and Hidan left, Itachi motioned for everyone to gather around him, as he leaned upwards from the couch, wincing as he did so. "It seems that the boy knows more then he'd like to tell us…when he gets back, the interrogation will continue…ask him these questions." Itachi finished as he handed a slip of paper to Kakuzu, containing said questions. "Hai." He said, and he went back to sitting on the couch, watching his virtual self get its butt handed to it by a virtual Kakashi. He looked at the screen in annoyance, but kept cool. As a ninja who would be annoyed by a mere game isn't fit to be a ninja at all.

"Hey…Deidara?" Sayame asked shyly. Deidara smirked, and replied. "What is it, un?" She blushed a bit, looking at him in a skin-tight tank-top, and asked. "Sorry if this is a bit personal…but…were you born with those…hands?" Deidara instantly knew what she meant, and hung his head down solemnly. "I…I…don't really remember how I got these, un…" Deidara said, much to Sayame's, and his own surprise. "I probably wouldn't want to anyways…the human mind does well of shutting out things it doesn't want to remember."

At that moment, the doorbell rang. Talon went to get it, but when she opened it, she cursed at herself and said. "I really have to stop being so eager to open the door." The person on the other side of the door smirked and said. "Got that right, doormat." It was Mike, the Australian kid from across the street. He and I had been friends ever since summer started. "Soo…I saw Steve hop into a truck with Hidan." He said. Talon's eyes widened and she asked. "You…you're not surprised?" Mike sighed and replied. "Of course I am…I'm just not good at showing emotion!" He said with a big grin on his face. Talon sweatdropped and allowed Mike to come in.

Nothing much else happened for the next hour, except for Mike asking a few Akatsuki members what they knew about this world. After the hour had passed, me and Hidan had returned home. "Does every fuckhead in this world drive so badly?" Hidan asked me. On the way to the store, to the way home, a total of 4 people merged without looking, and cut Hidan off in the process.

Needless to say, he was PISSED.

I had the ingredients in the bags in my hands, and replied. "No, just the overall assholes." Truth be told, I thought that Hidan would be the one to cut people off. He sighed and said. "Figures." and sat down on the couch. Itachi suddenly asked. "Steven, may I speak to you in the back yard for a moment?" I looked towards Itachi and said. "Sure, let me just these ingredients out."

Itachi looked around for Kakuzu, and realized that he was nowhere to be found. It looked at first like he'd have to do this himself, then he spotted someone as I walked out the back door to the back yard. "Hidan, come with me." Hidan saw Itachi following me, and instantly knew what was coming next.

The next thing I know, I'm pressed up against my fence with a kunai at my neck! "You know more then you're telling us." He said, nonchalantly. I simply replied. "…What do you want to know…"

Itachi's first question was much different from the other members' questions. "Where is the leader of this continent?" I looked at him with a puzzled look, and stated. "Even if you wanted to get at him, you couldn't. He's got security literally everywhere, and you wouldn't survive." He looked at me nonchalantly, and asked his next question…which I actually sensed a bit of curiosity in his voice as he asked it…

That also terrified me at the same time.

"Tell me the location of our creator, so I can kill him."

* * *

Soo...

this is where the interactiveness comes in...

should Masashi Kishimoto, the creator of Naruto, Live?

...or die...

You decide!!

Sayame-chan: Your 'request' will either happen next chapter or the one after that ;)

animechick: 2 things to say to you...

1, theres your request...and it sounds tasty! I'll have to taste it sometime (and you won the spot on that thar cookin corner of mine :3)  
2. Meh, i never really cared much for Sasuke...Revenge is for the narrow-minded, or the incredulously bored

Till next time people!


	7. A Very Long Authors Note

Hello, its Jojenga here!

I actually have a few things to say about the story and how its going, as well as a few things that may interest you, the reader!

First and foremost, I am accepting ANY and ALL ideas for the story…as long as they will pertain to the plot, which brings me to my 2nd thing…

So far, I have 3 ideas for plots for the story.

1. One of the Akatsuki die, and I am forced to take his/her place

2. I willingly help the Akatsuki back to their world so I can help them conquer it. (this plot WILL lead to a sequel or multiple sequels :3)

3. They end up staying in our world, and the fanfic will never end, it will just be updated with random filler once this plot is over. (much like the actual Naruto)

And believe me, I don't want to have to go with Plot 3, so…choose wisely

Also…the thing that may make you readers happy…

I am accepting 3 of my readers into the story if they want.

Your characters must have a detailed description of themselves, and by detailed…I mean

Name

Nickname

Likes

Dislikes

Favourite Akatsuki Member

Personality

How you want to appear in the story

Age

And anything else you may want to add in…now, for a few mentions…

Crystal Kira: trust me, GO READ HER STORY its much better and longer then mine T_T

NaruKyuRox: well…could ya be a bit more specific? XD

2 more things…

1. I am accepting ideas for pairings…and yes, I dun really care about which gender is paired with which, since I'm bi anyways XD

2. I will not post another chapter till I hit 20 reviews, and I'm at 14 now…and since about 100 people view per update, I dun think that it should be too hard :3

And those reviews can't just be about how great the story is…some of them have to have suggestions about what should happen next, or things about the grammar of it all, like Crystal Kira did :3

Man…this Authors note was long o.o…

Bye everybody!!


	8. Daphne Rose, and Romance!

I stared at Itachi in surprise, and almost disbelief. "Why?" I shouted. He replied, in his usual nonchalant tone. "He contains the power to dictate what happens in our world…I want to use that power to our advantage." I quickly cursed at myself, and came up with a plan.

"How about…I tell you everything that's going to happen?" I said through a seemingly clogged throat.

"Hmm…that would suffice, but I am asking one thing…Naruto Uzumaki…what is his weakness?" He asked. My eyes widened, and I smirked.

"As a matter of fact…if you could isolate the Kyuubi's chakra, then Naruto would be completely useless." I was telling them this because of one simple fact.

I hated Naruto with a burning passion. "There's only one bit of news about that which I guarantee that I know you wont like, and that information…is that Orochimaru is the only one who knows of such a jutsu." At that statement, I heard Itachi silently curse under his breath, and he released me, but not because he was finished questioning me.

It was because some random child had lunged at him, arms wide, but ended up flat on her face, inches away from Itachi.

"Hi!" She shouted as she got herself up off of the ground, and trapped the nearest Akatsuki member in a tight hug, which was Itachi.

"D…Daphne?" I said in disbelief. Not only had Daphne just displayed one of the most failed glomps of mankind, but…she was hugging Itachi

"Oh, hi Stevie! I saw these guys in cosplay costumes threatening you, and it looked like a fun game, so I figured that I would join in!" Daphne said, oddly chipper. She lived next to Mike, and was in my science class.

"Uh…that's great, Daph, but-"

"Girl, unhand me if you value your life." Itachi suddenly said, his left eye visibly twitching. Daphne was about to laugh and make a joke, when she felt something radiating from Itachi, and instantly knew what it was.

Killing intent.

"You…you're the real deal…" She said, stricken with the truth as she unhanded Itachi. She then promptly fainted, thinking that this was a dream, and that she'd wake up soon.

"Hmph…no further questions are necessary." Itachi said as he left for the house.

"Damn, I didn't even get to do anything…" Hidan muttered under his breath as he left, following Itachi back in.

I stared at the back sliding, glass-pane door, then looked at the unconscious body of Daphne.

"Might as well…" I muttered to myself as I picked up Daphne, and carried her inside, to be greeted with a not unexpected, but surprising sight.

* * *

"Alright, that should do it, un!" Deidara said, sweat trickling down his face from the heat of the open oven as he carefully placed the turkey rice casserole on the counter.

"Mmm…smells great!" Sayame said, inhaling the delicious scent down her nose.

"Now, we just need to let it sit for a little while." Deidara said, whilst leaning up against the counter. The sweat had dampened his hair, so he took it out of the ponytail and let it fall down to his shoulders. Sayame blushed and turned away, however Deidara decided to act this time.

"Don't try to hide it, I know you like me…besides, you're cute!" Deidara said, only making Sayame blush an even darker shade of red.

Deidara then kneeled down slightly to her height and grabbed her chin lightly and looked into her eyes, and laughed slightly. "Sayame…is it okay?" He asked, with a look of hesitation in his eyes. Sayame bore the same look, but replied in a way that made Deidara think that Sayame seemed even cuter.

She tried to speak, but couldn't find the words, so she simply nodded up and down.

Deidara then shyly leaned in, and kissed her on the lips

* * *

As soon as I came in, I was greeted by the two lovebirds.

I grinned devilishly, as my plan had worked like a charm

* * *

Well, i apologize for the shortness of the chapter, but I'VE GAWTZ NEWZ!!!

3 Caracters who qualafied aaaaaarre......

Daphne Rose (of course) from

Kita Kaze (pure epicness, milady)

and Maxie (you deserved it)

if you didn't get in, don't worry...i saved your characters for future reference, so you MAY get a place in the sequel :3 (or the sequel of THAT sequel, or so on, and so on... : 3)


	9. Drunken Sister, and Young Policegirl!

"Hehe…" I chuckled lightly. I didn't want to disturb them, so I quietly went over to the couch, and placed Daphne down lightly.

(Later that night)

After Daphne had arrived, not much else had happened. Besides Deidara and Sayame giving the occasional romantic glance at each other, and Hidan and Kakuzu making the usual argument.

That's when the cops arrived.

"I'll get it…I have a feeling that I know who it is…" I said as I opened the door to reveal 3 police officers holding someone up, keeping her from falling…

My 16-year old sister

"Excuse me, do you know this girl?" The first cop said.

"Yes, I do…c'mon Maxie, lets get you inside." I said, whilst slinging her arm around the back of my neck.

"He…ehy…I th-thought I told you tuh not call me that." My sister said, slurring every word.

"Its alright, lets just get you inside before you pass out on the ground." I said, whilst bringing her in through the kitchen, not worrying about her finding out that she'd find people, since she's drunk, and would have no luck noticing anyone but me.

As soon as she stepped into her room, she screeched and pointed at her bed, which was currently occupied by Kakuzu and his money.

"What is this hobo doing in my bed with his lettuce?!" She shouted, rather drunkenly. I could hear laughing from downstairs, which symbolized that Hidan had heard it…but something felt amiss…

Itachi was currently sitting up, and being glared at…and giving a glare in return. The third cop, who was just a purple-haired 13-year old girl was giving Itachi a run for his money, but when he activated his sharingan, she stood up.

"Looks like you're the real deal, Itachi Uchiha…and it turns out that I'm not completely insane after all." She said non-chalantly. She then went over to Hidan and said. "Look…to me, there is no meaning to life other then to die, and kill. You break one of the laws of life…I like that."

Hidan smirked and replied rather valiantly. "Heh…damn right, I defy life and death!"

I came back downstairs after my sister kicked Kakuzu out of her room, and noticed the other person in the house.

"Uh…hi?" I said, urging her to take the hint. She did so, and introduced herself

"Oh, sorry! My name is Kita. Kita Kaze. I live across the street with my brother." She said, while giving a bow.

"Oh right! From school! His name is Kad, right?" I said, quickly remembering people from the school. She nodded, and I chuckled.

"Well, you're free to stay here as long as you like, 'officer'." Hearing the sarcasm in my voice, she took out her gun that held rubber bullets, and shot me right in the center of the thigh, making me wince, and hop around on one leg.

"Don't mess with me, punk." She said in a commanding tone, twirling the gun in her fingers.

I moaned in agony on the floor, and Hidan simply laughed and pointed. That was when she pulled out her real pistol, and shot him in the thigh as well.

"Ahh! What the fuck was that for?!" He yelled as he clutched his bleeding thigh.

"You may be my favourite, but that doesn't mean that I'm going to go easy on you." she said as she winked at him, then promptly shot him again, because she heard him mutter the word 'bitch' under his breath, and replied with a smirk. "Bastard."

* * *

The sun rose over the house holding ten residents. We all slowly woke up, when I heard a shout that made me just want to die.

"DEIDARA-SENPAI!!! I MISSED YOU!!!"

* * *

Yus...by popular demand, Tobi is in...

and yes, i deeply apologize for such short ideas, but heres something...

theres a bunch of things that i plan on happening that will eventually lead up to the main plot...but...

i need your guys' help on what the Akatsuki should do until then.

Like...

akatsuki go to the beach

akatsuki go to school with me

those are the only two things i can think of right now...so...suggestions please?

Ja-Ne everyone!


	10. To The Mall!

I quickly covered my head with a pillow, hoping that I was imagining this. Not just Tobi, but I hoped I was imagining the whole thing. But when I heard the cry of that annoying, lollipop-faced, hyperactive, sugar-high Akatsuki member, I knew I wasn't dreaming.

"Ahhh! Tobi, what the hell are you doing here, un?!" Deidara yelled as he kicked Tobi off of the bed. Sayame was yawning and in her PJs, when she came in yawning, asking. "What happened?"

"Deidara-senpai! Who's this girl?" Tobi asked innocently. Deidara had a vein visible in his forehead, and asked. "Tobi, would you please be a good boy and get out?!"

Tobi was out the door in a matter of seconds.

"Morning, Saya-kun." Deidara said to Sayame with a smirk from the bed.

"Morning, Dei-Dei-kun." Sayame replied with the same smirk.

It was official…Tobi had arrived.

"Uggh…I'm so bored, un." Deidara moaned in agony while his chin rested on the counter. It had been 5 hours since Tobi had arrived, and he had sucked the fun out of everyone's day…well, besides Daphne's day, which was brightened up more then anyone could begin to imagine.

"Hey, how about we show these guys what a haunted house is like?" Mike suggested. It was then that a huge idea slid its way inside of my mind. It was then that I slid out a piece of paper and wrote down 'haunted house'

"Yeah, keep going! I needs myself some ideas!" I shouted as I held a pencil at the ready. Mike was confused until we heard a voice at the door.

"I suggest that you take them to a cemetery." At that moment, the door opened to reveal Kita.

"Oh hi Kita! Why are you here?" asked Daphne, inquisitively.

"Eh, my brother got really annoying, and Kankuro the kangaroo wouldn't shut up, so I decided to come over here." replied Kita, which made Deidara's head pick up in a way that amazed us as to why he didn't have whiplash.

"You mean the Kazekage's older brother, right?" said Deidara in wonder. He had sworn that he was doomed when Sasori had poisoned him.

Ignoring the conversation, I wrote down 'cemetery' to the list. It was then that I had an idea.

"Hey…Itachi? You think you could give training me a shot?" I asked. Itachi simply nodded, symbolizing that he meant yes. I added 'training' to the list, then looked towards Daphne.

"You like Jashinism, right? Well, now is your chance to learn more about it." I said to her, motioning to Hidan, who had a smirk on his face.

"Heh, its all the chicks that like me! In your stringy face, Kakuzu!" Hidan jested to Kakuzu, which reminded me.

"Oh, and Kakuzu? You're coming too. I'm sure that you need a little religion in your life, right Hidan?" I asked. Hidan had the biggest grin on his face that he had gained in a long time.

"Oh hell yeah, you're sitting through it, and by Jashin, you're going to enjoy every fucking second of it, moneybags." Hidan said, very content with what was happening.

It was then that I made a horrid mistake, when Kakuzu uttered his next sentence, and I could tell he was serious.

"When this day is over, I'm killing you…brutally." Kakuzu said, whilst directing killing intent at me. I gulped and stepped back, feeling my heartbeat rising, when Hidan suggested something.

"Hey, if you become a Jashinist, then you won't have to be burdened by death! And since you're going to be one by the end of today, Kakuzu can't really kill you!" at that, Kakuzu slumped back into his chair, and groaned.

"No matter what you do, I am NOT becoming a Jashinist." Kakuzu spat out. It was then that I remembered the list, and wrote down 'Jashinist lesson'

I wrote down a few more things, such as 'mall' and 'arcade' and finished the list…the list of things to do with the Akatsuki for today…

What can I say, I'm curious!

As soon as I announced what we would be doing today, we stepped out the door for the first thing to do…

The mall.

Once we had arrived, I pulled out a wallet, and gave everyone money, around $200.

"Okay, we all have one hour, and we'll all meet back here. Once we meet back here, I'll have a side-splitting surprise for you all! Now, lets go!" I said as we walked into the huge complex that was the mall.

"C'mon Tobi, I have something to show you!" Daphne said as she walked with Tobi to an area of the mall that would soon wish it didn't exist…

The pet store.

"So, you're saying that you just leave these registers where anyone can take them out in the open, with all the current store's money in it?!" Kakuzu shouted angrily. If there was one thing that definitely ticked Kakuzu off, it was bad protection of money.

"Um…yes?" Replied the store clerk, who was ducking behind the counter in fear, thinking that the scary man in black was going to kill her and take the money.

"I normally would never do this, but I can't just leave money unprotected…I'll stand guard for you…you seem too weak to protect yourself anyways." Kakuzu stated, leaning against the post of wood behind him.

"Oh, good…wait…hey, I'm not weak!" she said to the man in black as a vein appeared on her forehead. Kakuzu sighed, and held his head down.

It would be a long day for him.

Kisame and Itachi were at the food court, the designated meeting spot for when this activity was over.

There was a crowd of women, some even as old as in their 20s fawning over the 2 members of Akatsuki.

"Itachi?"

"Yes, Kisame?

"I'm going somewhere less populated…this place is way too crowded." And Kisame did so, getting somewhat jealous that no women were following him."

And in the next 5 seconds, all hell would break loose

* * *

And theres the first thing on the list...the mall

Remember, kids! Review!


	11. Massive Unneeded Violence!

"Give me all the money in the cash register, NOW!" shouted a robber with a mask over his face. Kakuzu, who was still leaning up against the post, decided to act, as the offender had a knife.

In a swift second, the robber was on the ground, with his eyes rolling into the back of his head. Why?

Because Kakuzu had just grabbed the offender's knife and jammed it into the robber's throat, causing fountains of blood to spill forth from both the wound, and his gaping maw.

The surrounding citizens flew into a panic, but the woman at the cash register realized who it was that she was staring at. Everyone began screaming, and people were even fleeing from the pet store too for some reason.

"Oh, these poor cute little animals…locked up in cages…I should let you little guys out of there." Tobi said as he knelt down to stare at a cage filled with rabbits. It was then that his childish instinct took over, and he would go for what he wanted…for the little animals to be free.

All of them.

It was a storm of panic, freedom, and fear all at once. The people running in fear of the 'crazed madman', and the animals, and the animals running for their well-deserved freedom.

"Run, my little woodland friends, run!" Tobi shouted as he waved his arms and jumped around like a madman. Daphne just had her eyes open the whole time, and grabbed Tobi's arm and said. "C'mon, we've gotta get outta here!"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

WARNING: MASSIVE VIOLENCE AHEAD

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

But these 'woodland friends' were more angry then they were joyful.

Four of the dogs they had 'rescued' had already mauled 7 people to death, shredding their bodies to mere tattered, bloodied clothing, and few chunks of flesh. The rabbits had actually gone rabid, as ironic as it may seem, and began attacking civilians in a frenzy.

Hidan was too busy praying to Jashin, so him, Deidara, and Sayame all stayed stay home.

"Gaah!" yelled Kisame, as a rabbit was thrown his way from afar. He had looked towards the direction of the thrower, and saw him just in time…well, all he saw was the mutilated arm, as the rabbits were currently chewing on every inch of his flesh.

Kisame then looked up to the balcony to see one thing that screamed the reason of all this mayhem…Daphne and Tobi were running from the pet store.

"Tobi…" Kisame muttered as he dashed through the crowd towards the exit.

Itachi grew bored of his fan girls, and was rather pleased when he saw them all nearly torn to pieces. He then got up, put his 200 dollars in the cash register, and left soundly towards the exit.

I was sipping hot chocolate near the food court, when I saw all the mayhem. I threw my hot chocolate on the ground, vaulted over the bench-table, and sprinted for the exit. Hidan said that I'd be a Jashinist by the end of today…that would only be IF I could survive all the messes I would get into before then!

As we all met up in the parking lot of the place, we began to hear police sirens. At that Kakuzu grabbed me, Tobi grabbed Daphne, and we all sprinted to a good place to stop, physically unscathed…but me and Daphne were mentally scarred for life.

Once we found ourselves safe, we stopped. It was then that I remembered something.

"Okay guys…the next stop is…back home, to play on my Playstation 2!" I said with a bounce in my step.

It had been 2 hours after we got home. The police had came to the mall to stop all the madness, but most of the rabbits and all of the dogs got away. We weren't guilty of it…yet. I figured that we would be accused soon, and we would all be on the run for the rest of our lives, but no such thing happened.

But something that happened would be even worse then what I had thought of with incarceration.

"Steve, I'm going to need a LONG explanation, NOW!: Deidara screamed from upstairs.

We all ran upstairs, and my heart stopped when I saw what was on my computer screen…Deidara had found Google…and yaoi along with it.

* * *

I know that them finding yaoi is a bit cliche, but, like i said in the last chapter, i'm kinda strapped for ideas...don't worry, next chapter will be MUCH longer...

And you can grab a bucket and puke now, your stomach must be hurting from all the gore =3

Ja-ne everyone, and till next time!

(and yes, the sequel will be a SERIOUS fanfic, with bits of humor here and there)


	12. My Sincerest Apoligies

To my dear fans

I must apoligize for the long wait for the next chapter, but it just seems i am just not in the 'naruto-esque' mood. Lately, i have been playing Final Fantasy X, and it's sequel, Final Fantasy X-2. I am more in a mood to write fanfics about those games.

But never fear, i am just taking a short...or long...hiatus from all of my Naruto stories. I must apoligize deeply to my fans again, but i need more time to determine where the plots are going and how the stories will unfold. Not to mention i have been quite busy helping my parents work on the house.

Never the less, i will still be writing fanfiction, just not Naruto fanfictions. I still will be working on To Take the World, FFX Edition. And i am also debating whether to make a To Take the World, Naruto Edition after that. But if i do, it will stop when Sasuke defeats Naruto at those two stone statue things because thats as far as i can remember Naruto as it is.

Until then, i will see you all in my new and first series of fanfics, To Take the World!

See you all next chapter or update

-Jojenga, the formal one


	13. Last Author's Note

Hey guys, it's Jojenga the Hiatus-er.

Just to let all of you know, I'm uploading this as a chapter to all of the stories I'm still working on. The message needs to get out.

Yes, I'm back and I probably won't be back for long before making some more garbage, but hear me out for a moment.

I've made a blog that I will update you guys on my fanfics with. I'll post stuff like how some fanfics are coming along, when I finish a chapter of something, and when I upload something new (which probably won't take long.)!

Since I can't include urls in chapters, I'll have the link on my profile page. It'll be the first link.

For any of my old subscribers, I humbly thank you for being patient with me for the past...almost two years.

I'm Jojenga the Netherlord, and I'll see you guys on the next installment.


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